Relational Evangelism (Part 1 of 2)

What is the essence of our responsibility as believers to share the Gospel? Is going to church enough? What about praying before we eat at a public place? Do we actually have to open our mouths and tell someone we believe in Jesus? Is the goal of 'sharing the Gospel' to get someone to bow their head with us and 'pray the sinner's prayer'? What about street preachers? Should we always rely on a tried and true system to make sure we say everything and don't leave parts out?

So many questions! Often, today, I hear people boil their approach to evangelism down to one word, 'relational'. That sounds good, but what does it mean to do relational evangelism? In my view, it simply means that we share the Gospel with another person within the context of a personal relationship. We don't view people only as potential converts, rungs to climb on the evangelistic effectiveness ladder. We view people as people; people who are worth our time because we have been filled with love for them. Because of this love, we enjoy other people. We enjoy interacting, discussing, and joking. Spending time with people is not the necessary evil required to achieve the goal of glorifying God by that person's conversion. No, spending time interacting with non-believers is, itself, glorifying to God. The Gospel is shared as we intersect our lives with those who are lost.

There is a stream of 'relational' evangelism that bothers me, however. I've heard people describe their interactions with unbelievers as the process of 'earning the right to share the Gospel'. Typically, this means the believer is interacting with a non-believer on various levels in order to 'build the relationship' and 'establish trust'. Almost always, it's implied that this phase should involve little or no verbal discussion about spiritual truths in order to make sure the non-believer doesn't get 'turned off' because the relationship 'hasn't reached that level yet.' According to this view, non-spiritual interaction needs to continue until the right moment arrives and Gospel truth can be shared. The time required for this initial phase varies, but it is usually measured in weeks and months, not in days.

I understand that proponents of the sort of ‘relational evangelism’ just described are reacting against people and methods that insist upon sharing a prepared ‘Gospel presentation’ during every encounter with a non-believer. I, too, do not agree that we should be aiming to steer every conversation toward ‘spiritual matters’ so that we can deliver the full ‘Gospel presentation’ that will be followed by a call for belief and ‘praying the prayer’. Still, ‘relational’ evangelism that tells Christians to interact with non-believers on a non-spiritual level for a long time goes too far to the other extreme.

Here’s the crux of the matter. How can a style of evangelism be relational when a key part of the process involves withholding discussion about the most significant part of the believer’s life? As a Christian, if my relationship to Jesus is central to every aspect of my life, how can I have a true relationship with a non-believer if I intentionally refrain from conversation in this area? That’s not relational, it’s deceptive! If a non-believer doesn’t understand that everything significant about my life relates to Jesus and His work, there is no real relationship.

In Part 2, we’ll look more closely that the type of relationship we should seek with non-believers as we share our very lives with them (including the most important part—Jesus).